an accurate representation of my ascent into adulthood
PARENTING YOU ARE DOING IT SO FUCKING RIGHT
Never forget that you are the protagonist of your own story
and the antagonist of someone else’s!
And a possible love interest in some other peoples! 0u0
This might just be the single most inspiration thing I have ever seen on the internet.
You are also a supporting character to a lots of people’s stories. You might even be the kind stranger who unintentionally turns someone’s life around for the better.
Wanna hear a joke? 2 med students are sharing an apartment. One of them gets sick.
Pretty sure that it’s a contractual obligation to give no fucks when cosplaying Deadpool.
Sleeping Warrior AU: Aurora falls in love with Mulan and Ping, not realizing they are the same person.
IT’S LIKE ONCE UPON A TIME BACKWARDS AND EVEN BETTER!
Martin Freeman discusses Smaug the dragon.
me thinks he doth protest too much
way too much…
What a time to be alive.
Happy happy birthday to EK!! Sorry this took longer even for a quickie, because I literally got unexpected guests late at night (and I certainly wish I had some of Bilbo’s calm!).
ahhhh grantaire’s face!!!
Passive Bumper Stickers [collegehumor]
My favorite thing about this article is that the “How’s my driving” phone number actually works.
It’s true! Call the number!
I have to say this is completely legit - someone tried to steal her handbag and she simply went “Fuck this- *suplex*”
someone teach me this pweeze-ooc
Ok Ladies, here’s the info on this move.
We are blessed with a low center of gravity. This means that when we get ahold of someone and tip over backward like that, it’s easy peasy for us to do. Especially on a guy. Think of it like a fulcum and lever: they’re the lever, we’re the fulcrum, and because their center of gravity is up in their chest, instead of in their pelvis, when we get down low and lean back, whupsy there they tip right over.
Now, here’s the real deal on that particular move. Check out how this gif end, with the guy’s head on the floor like that? How his torso seems straight up and down, his head and neck on the floor, all his body weight and the momentum of having been tossed over her shoulder?
Yeah, he’s pretty messed up from that. In the really real world, if you do that move correctly, toss your whole body into it, seriously oomph it up and give that mugger a throw, you can snap his neck.
All that said, here’s how you do it!
This is something you do fast, ladies. Move quickly and with assurance, and don’t worry about whether you’re strong enough to do it or not: you are. This is about physics, not muscle.
Get low, bend your knees and hips. Our strength is largly concentrated in our lower bodies, and when we put our knees and thighs into a move, we bring some of the largest muscles in the human body to bear. You’d be surprised what you can move with your legs.
When she got low on him, her right arm was around his waist, her shoulder roughly at or under his ass, her left arm wrapped around his left leg. Feet shoulder width apart for a nice stable base, big deep breath in, and lift just a bit while falling backwards. It doesn’t take much strength but it will really mess with the dude’s day. Landing on your head will at the very very least knock you silly for a minute.
Interestingly, we can use these same basic principles to ruin a guy’s day if he’s the one to grab us! Imagine, if you will, mugger dude runs up behind you and bear hugs you in preparation for dragging you into the alley. Scary, right? Yep.
If he lifts you too fast, and you find your feet off the ground, kick him in the shins, scrape your shoes down his legs, aim for the knees and his feet. Toss your head back and head butt him. Bite him. Squirm. Do what it takes to get your feet back on the ground.
Feet on the ground, grab his arms and hold on to them. Don’t let him get away, because this move, ladies, will put him down and out, and if he moves away he may go for a distance weapon, or start using his fists. Hold onto his arms and keep him in close.
Again, feet shoulder width apart. Use your booty and hips now, like you’re trying to hit his not-so-manly bits with your ass, get your hips back, bend your knees and flex your hips. If he’s shortish, you should at this point have picked him up and be balancing him on your back. If he’s tall, you’re now in position to put a crimp in his style in a big way.
Tuck your head to your chest and roll forward, just like you did when you were a kid. Flip yourself forward and let gravity do the rest. You will have your head tucked down, aiming to land on the upper back of one shoulder; he won’t. This means he’ll land on his face, with the full force of his own body weight behind it as well as any momentum you’ve built up. You may very well land on top of him too.
From here, get up, run like hell towards a light source while yelling “help, fire, call 911 (or whatever emergency services number exists in your country)”
Remember, ladies, with just a little understanding of comparative anatomy and physics, you too can put a man on the ground and seriously mess up his day. But then, that’s what he was planning to do to you, so fair’s fair.
Reblogging again because of Gryphyn’s awesome comment. C:
THIS IS AWESOME.
Awesome protests erupted in my school today. Our student council planned a “fun” game for valentines day. They handed out paper hearts to every girl at the beginning of the day. Only the girls. If a girl speaks to a guy through the duration of the day, she has to give him her heart. Guys get five raffle tickets for every heart they collect. Girls cannot collect hearts, they only have one to give away, and guys do not have to give away anything. A gay male asked for a heart to give away to participate and was told no.
Some girls have taken this as an invitation to say things such as, quoted from twitter, “keeping the whores from talking today haha.” And boasting about “keeping their heart and not being a whore.” This has turned into an excuse to shame each other for talking to guys. And for what? A valentines game?
Rather than writing their names on the hearts and giving them away, many girls have written notes of protest on the paper hearts and are wearing them proudly as they associate with whoever they please and refuse to give the heart away.
Proud of some of the people in my school today.
males are rewarded for collecting female “hearts” and are encouraged to collect as many as they possibly can, but females are only allowed to have one heart to give away, and when they give it away they’re not allowed to play anymore
the correlation of “hearts” to how virginity/sex is treated in society is kind of eerie and definitely sexist
This is a really big deal! My elementary had us do this for Valentine’s Day one year. Girls were given a prize if they kept theirs, boys were given a prize if they got one. The boys would harass us - verbally, getting into our personal space, or pulling our hair - until we told them to stop and then they would get to take the heart. A lot of us were pretty mad about it at the time, and now that I see the implications of it, I’m even angrier.
ALL THIS COMMENTARY AND ALSO SOMEONE GIVE THESE KIDS A METAL